There are many creation stories, as each individual sees the world from a different perspective. This is a tale of the origins of one small, insignificant blue marble orbiting a burning furnace in one of the outer arms of a singular galaxy amongst the billions of galaxies in that universe. This is my perspective.

 In the beginning, the gods created the universes, with all the necessary mechanics. 

So, the gods finished this one particular marble.  Blue oceans, brown land, high mountains and white fluffy clouds.  Once the land cooled off and all the water had settled, the gods started the business of creating living things to inhabit this marble.

They went to town. First plants, from small single cells organizism to magnificant living collections of cells that reached into those clouds.  All sorts of plants, poisonous and nutritious. Stunningly beautiful, or just plain but essential.  Fruits that tasted like nectar or were bitter and inedible. Each of these plants had a purpose, because gods see ahead in such matters and know where they are going.

Then they created animals.  First, they were on a huge scale. The gods like them big. All roaming around, smashing things, living and dying in the blink of an eye.  But yes, once these beasts were all gone, the gods populated the earth with smaller living things.  A lot less damage.  But the purpose of the large, lumbering beasts was also seen, so everything had a purpose.  See, up to now, the gods controlled how everything worked.

    And that was nice, and all.  But it was no fun. 

One god decided on creating something that would work for the gods.  He called them angels.  Oh, very nice, everyone said.  Very pretty.  And the gods accepted their help.  But, for the moment they are not important.

The gods got together and discussed it further.  Angels are nice, but they are not meant to live on this marble.  Maybe we can create other beings.  Something that is a thinking, reasoning being, that could live on the marble, and enjoy what we have created.  Let's stick a little randomness into the mix to see if it get's more interesting.

Everyone decided on a singular form, but each god would add something unique to the form.  They would all be the same, because that form worked best for this marble.  But, like fairy godmothers, they gifted them with special values that would enable them to interact with their environment the best.  Skin color, hair color, eye color.  Tall, short, plump and thin.  See, every form was beautiful in their eyes, no matter what it was.

This was a paint pallet that brought together a clever meat machine with independent designs.  These forms would eventually adapt to all environments, as the gods understood genetics, interbreeding and the necessity of diversity.   

They called their creations humans.  They decided on just two variations for these beings.  Both would be smart, strong, independent.  But one would be given a special gift.  This one would produce smaller meat machines that would grow into larger ones.  But that, too, would come later.

     Remember those angels that one god created?  Well, they developed a problem.  They were made immortal, much like the gods.  After all, if you are going to train something to be an assistant, you don’t want to have to be replacing it every few years ‘cause it died off.  But the gods, still in their trial and error stages, didn't realize that independent thought would lead to defiance.  Some of the angels got uppity.  They are immortal, like the gods. Why are they being treated like second class citizens.  So, a bunch of them decided to move out, set up shop elsewhere and pursue their own interests.  More on that later.

 So the gods decided that rather than give these new creatures all the same features the angels had, they would give them everything but immortality.  Then some god decided that something else had to be given to make these new creatures special, so they were gifted with emotions.  Again, the gods went back and did designer emotions to fit the environment.  Like the ability to deal with living.  The ability to feel, to express themselves, to love. And, of course, all the supporting emotions needed to experience the major ones. The gods then gifted the humans with independence and individuality, the little randomness that would give the whole project some much needed excitment and unexpected turns.  They had no idea what they were getting themselves into.

Going back to that one god who created angels.  The other gods created their humans from bits of themselves, mixed with bits of the blue marble they lived on, tying these new creatures to the gods and to the world they created. The god who created angels started out doing the same thing.  But when it came to replicate a counterpart, rather than create her from the earth, he broke off a bit of the original and made a clone.  The second human would be a "tag along" to the first.  They were not sure if he was being lazy, or if he felt one perfect creation alone would not cause as much trouble as all his angel creations were giving him.

This god was obsessed with perfection.  He was just an obsessive god, who puttered over his creations, fussing and messing with them over and over, till he decided they were just right.  At least, that was his story. Probably why his creations got to thinking they were especially special.  The reality was he just kept fucking them up, so he had to go back and rework the mess.  He called it “evolution.” It played havoc with their emotions, which is where this story eventually goes.

Once the gods were all finished with their humans, they decided it was time to install them on the marble.  Humans 1.0 was released. They created a wonderful place for these beings to live.  They called it Eden.  None of the gods worried about Beta Testing before installing.  And we are all familiar with where that goes.

So, the humans mingled in Eden.  Pretty much all they needed to do.  Everything else in Eden was set up to support the new machinery.  Food was all provided for them.  They didn't need shelter or clothing.  Weather was never extreme; it was always perfect.

The humans found themselves talking to each other.  They  started out by naming things.  They had this need to make sure everything was identified and catalogued.  Some god had gotten fancy with the data base program.  Then they started to name themselves.

The humans discovered their emotions.  They liked things.  They didn't like other things.  Sweet was good, bitter was not so good.  They found they had preferences.  They took special liking for those that attracted specific emotional responses.  They discovered that little surprise package that the gods installed - sex.  And the humans started to enjoy each other's company.  Pretty much a good time was had by all.  Well, almost all.  We will get into that in a bit.

The gods noticed that some humans excelled at certain things more so than others. The one called Lilith was a good thinker.  She would walk in Eden with her creator, and they would discuss things.  Higher things.  Things that the gods would discuss with each other, but she had some very different perspectives.  Her god enjoyed this.  He loved hearing her take on what had been done.  Another creation, Eve, she too was a deep thinker, and she and her god would join in conversations.  There were others who also achieved certain skills and were invited into the circle of the gods.  A chap named Flute created a device that, when you blow into it, it made beautiful sounds that could be brought together to create lovely groupings.  He called the instrument after himself.  A lovely little lady named Melody used her voice to accompany Flute and so music was born.

All sorts of talents came into being.  A dude named Adam did the first story.  It was about the beginning of the people. He created a story and told it.  The gods were delighted.  Adam, by the way, was the creation of that same god that created the angels.  The god was very impressed with Adams talent. 

Adam's clone was not all that happy.  She lived in his shadow.  Adam even named her; she did not get to choose her name.  He called her Spot, because of a mark on her cheek.  She argued that Karen would be a better name for her because she liked it, but he insisted on Spot.

    The humans also noticed pleasure.  Yea, there were some wild parties, with pleasure being the sole point.  And the gods were happy that their creations had taken to interacting with each other on such an intimate level.  Yea, sex for pleasure.  It was a thing. The gods knew a good thing and passed it along. After all, they had been having sex with each other for a long time.  And yes, they joined in on the pleasure.  That too would create issues, but that was later.

    While Adam indulged in the full expanse of available acts of pleasure, as did the rest, Karen had issues.  She found the emotion of jealousy.  She was possessive.  After all, she was made from Adam.  He was hers and she was his.  How come he got to mix and mingle and yet she found it hard to mingle and enjoy it.  So, she mentioned it in passing to her creator god.  He brushed it off as nothing.  "Maybe I made you too sensitive to the needs of Adam," he replied.  "There is lots to do, you will find where you fit in. Now, go out and have yourself a good time.”

    Adam eventually found himself attracted to two individuals, Eve and Lilith.  Lilith was the best loved of her god.  He found her talents to be extraordinary. But she was a good networking tool and he got in good with her god because of their relationship.  But she was a strong individual with ideas of her own.  Adam found that exciting.  But Lilith, seeing Karen was not happy, suggested he pay more attention to her.  After all, Karen was a part of him.  Adam became embarrassed and eventually moved his attention to focus on Eve.

    Again, Karen felt slighted, and complained to her god.  Again, he brushed it off.  "Maybe you are not paying enough attention to him.  You should be with him more, do more for him.  After all, you are just an extension of him."

    So she started following Adam around.  She always had food for him.  She made herself available to him whenever he wanted her, which wasn't that often as he was involved with Eve.  She even did her hair up special for him.  He never noticed.

He wrote a poem for Eve.  That set Karen off in another fit.  She stormed over to her god.  "He writes poetry for Eve, but I have to toddle after him and wait till he has nothing better to do before he pays attention to me."  She bitched to her god for quite a while till he agreed to have a talk to Adam about this.

The talk went rather along the lines of:

 "Hey Adam, how are you doing?" 

"Ok god, no problems."

"Good, glad to hear that.  How's your latest story coming along?  The food book. You need any help?" 

"No, god, not at the moment. Almost done with it.  But thanks.  I appreciate your asking." 

"Oh, by the way Adam, maybe you can write a nice little poem for Karen."

"Oh, you mean Spot? Did she say something to you?" 

"Yea, Adam.  You know how she is." 

"Ok, god, I'll see what I can do, but I have another story I am working up, and I want to know if you have any time to help me with that." 

"Ok, Adam.  What you have you got for another story?" 

  "It's a prequel to the Garden of Eden story I wrote.  I call it Genesis.  I would like it if you could make some time for us to sit and get the timeline worked out properly.  Someone said you created this all in seven days."

    "Well, yes, we did Adam.  But it was a group effort.  And days, well, we didn't have a sun to pace time, till someone thought we should get out of the dark to see what we are doing.  It could almost have been any length of time." 

"Yea, I understand.  Thanks.  Remember, in my book, you are always going to be my #1."

"Ok, Adam, how about tomorrow at lunch." 

"Sure thing.  Talk to you then."

You get the picture.

     Yes, the gods would walk in the garden with their creations and discuss all manner of things.  They would share the secrets of the universe, as the gods had plotted it out, and there would be deep philosophical discussions between the men and the gods, and between the humans themselves. 

     But Karen was always left out.  She did not understand these things.  She was so busy with making sure Adam was taken care of, that she would miss the discussions, or she would be jealous that they got to talk to their gods, but with her god she had to whine at to get him to make time for her.  She was pissed about that. 

 So, she cornered him one afternoon.  "How come we don't talk like you do to Adam.  Am I not worthy of conversation with you?"  The god sighed.  She went on to tell him that she was his loyal servant, always with the deepest respect, and how come he does not spend as much time with her as he does with Adam. 

    The god thought about it for all of a milisecond.  "Well, Karen, how about I give you a special way to talk to me.  It will be called prayer.  I am everywhere, all the time, and all you need do is to start talking to me, no matter where you are, or what you are doing. Just start talking, and I will hear you.  You don't even have to voice it.  Just think it in your mind and I will hear it."

Karen liked that idea.  Prayer.  And it was her special thing with her god.  Anytime, anywhere, just start talking and he will hear her.  "OK, I like that.  And you will answer me?"  The god paused for a minute.  "I will always hear you.  And if you need a reply, I will surely give you one."

And it gave the god some peace, for a little while.

In the meantime, Adam was permanently seated next to Eve all the time.  He completely ignored Karen.  She complained in prayer to her god, over and over.  She kept asking him, when will he start paying attention to me?  When will he sit next to me?  Why is he not attached to me as he is to her?

    Things were getting rough in Eden.  It took a while for her to realize that her god did not answer her.  She started complaining to the other people in the garden.  Some sympathized with her.  Some wished she would just go away.  A couple mentioned it to Adam. 

    Lilith in particular got on Adam in the worst way.  "She is a part of you.  Your god made her that way.  You should respect her."  All Adam heard was bla, bla, bla.  After all, all Lilith did was put him down for it.  She was always telling him what to do.  He really wanted nothing to do with Spot, or Lilith.

    Karen then started going to the other gods.  That was pretty annoying.  There was nothing they could do. It was her god's responsibility.  After couple of weeks of constant nagging, they all went to her god.  Ya gotta fix this, they said.  This is really annoying.  He asked what he could do.  They said they had no idea, it was his problem, he would have to solve it.

He pondered this.  He thought, maybe his angels could give him some advice.  He told both Adam and Karen that he would be unavailable for a bit, and that they should just wait till he got back with some solutions.  He told Karen not to annoy the other gods, they were not happy with her for that.  So, off he went, leaving Karen to sit and wonder what to do next.

    She got pissy.  She started collecting information on the others in the garden.  This one talked bad about that god.  That one didn't make a proper offering.  These two were hording food.  It was all nonsense.  But she made her list anyway. And she would go to the other gods and report her findings.  After a bit, the gods would run in the other direction and hide when they felt her coming.

    In the meantime, Lilith was seeing what was going on, and knew this was trouble in the making.  She went to Adam.  She told him his other part was making all the humans look bad.  This was going to get us all kicked out.  You should be treating her as your equal, not as your slave.  Adam got pissy.  He told her to shut up, mind her own business and If she felt Karen needed some love and attention, then maybe Lilith should take care of it herself.

Lilith thought on that for a bit.  Might help, she thought.  So, she approached Karen with the idea.  Karen didn't object.  Nope, Karen found it actually refreshing and exciting.  And for a while, there was peace in the garden.

But the relationship didn't last.  Two things were out of synch.  Lilith was also involved with Eve.  And while it was fine with Karen for a while, Lilith returning to Eve without her was unbearable.  The second thing was that was bothering Karen was that it still should be Karen taking care of Adam.  Not Eve.  And why did Eve also need Lilith?  After all, Eve was with Adam. That should be more than enough.

Jealousy is a strange thing.  It spreads.  Now other humans in the garden were getting edgy and complaining to their gods about the whole thing.  Why did they do this?  Why wasn't this settled before they made humans? How come that other god gets to leave town, and everyone is stuck listening to her nag.

    The gods just waved it off as a passing phase.  Karen was the issue. The humans could deal with Karen as they saw fit.  She was, after all, one of them.

    In the meantime, the god of Adam and Karen had spoken with his angels.  There was a huge ruckus.  Seems the god wanted them to fix the issue with Karen.    They were made first, and they were perfect.  He said so himself.  So, they are now the official fix-it guys.  The angels didn’t take well to that.  They got to go and clean up the mistakes the god made?  What are they anyway, second class by products?  A whole bunch of them said fuck this shit and walked.  They were done.  Not gonna be the garbage collectors for a god.  Clean up your own mistakes.  They went and stayed with the first group that left.

After they walked out and the door slammed shut, the other angels were at a loss to suggest what to do.  They were pretty much shocked at the whole affair.  They offered nothing but gee, sorry, I guess we aren’t as smart as you, oh wise one. 

The god threw up his hands in despair and left.   The remaining angels let out a sigh of relief and figured better to keep him thinking he was the only one who could solve this as he is the great and powerful god, then to get booted along with the other angels.  They had no idea what was out there, so they decided to keep to the sure thing.

When he got back, the situation was worse.  Everyone was grumbling now.  The god sat and thought for a great while.  There was only one solution.

He went to his fellow gods.  Look, he said, this whole experiment has really gone south.  Maybe we should shut it down. 

They thought on it for a bit.  Yea, the humans were really getting to be a pain in the ass.  Always pissy, always grumbling.  So, how do we do this.  They thought on it for a while.  Not everyone wanted to get rid of them.  Some of the gods liked their creations and couldn't bear to kill them.  How do we handle this?

After much debate, it was decided. If one was bad, their creations are probably all bad.  They would test them.  They would put a tree in the garden and forbid everyone to eat the fruit.  Yea, rather simplistic.  But a simple test was called for.  If anyone ate the fruit, they all get banished from the garden and survival at that point was totally on their own heads.  Let them police themselves.  This way, the gods washed their hands of the whole affair, and the humans sank or swam all on their own.  If they all died, well, not the gods fault.

So, in goes the tree.  All the gods spoke to their people.  Don't eat that fruit, you got it?  Don't eat that fruit!

Most of the humans could care less.  There was so much food in the garden, we don't need that other tree?

But there is Karen.  She was pretty much a wreck at this point.  Lilith had given up on her.  Probably Karen's constant complaining.  Lilith decided it was not worth it and had gone back to being with Eve.  Adam was also hanging with Eve.  Karen was tired of this whole thing.

Karen sat contemplating the tree.  What would the gods do if she ate the fruit?  At this point, she needed this whole thing to end.  Would her god kill her?  Ahh, sweet death.  Finally, peace.  But that would leave Adam with Eve.  No, that could never be.  She needed to understand exactly what the punishment would be if someone ate the fruit.  So, she asked her god. He gave her that look. Karen, why are you asking?  Oh, just curious.  What would happen to us - how bad is the punishment for eating the fruit.  She just wanted to know.  Her god leveled with her.  It would be bad - everyone would be forced out of the garden.  Then everyone would be on their own to fend for themselves.  It is a matter of life and death outside the garden.  Survival was not guaranteed as it was in the garden.  They could all die horrible deaths - starvation, disease, any number of natural disasters. 

Karen understood. She spent another couple of days twisting this around in her mind.  Yes, she would probably die.  Survival was not important to her anymore.  And it would really destroy the rest of these people who didn’t listen to her, who shunned her, and especially Adam.  He would finally get what he deserves.

The sunrise that morning was beautiful.  Another gorgeous day in the garden.  Birds were singing, people were wandering around the garden smiling, laughing and having another wonderful day.  Karen woke up and walked to the forbidden tree. Today was the day.  She looked at the fruit.  She grabbed one, broke it off, and took a bite.

It was unfortunate that it was Lilith who saw her.  She had been checking on Karen from time to time to make sure she was alright.  But seeing Karen with that fruit in her hand, chewing it.  Lilith let out a shriek, turned, and watched the whole place fall apart.

A few weeks later, everyone was standing around trying to figure out what to do.  They wondered how they had all ended up outside the garden, which was now gone. 

They had figured out the basics - fire, shelter, food.  Discussions with their gods had given them plenty of information and now they applied it.  They would at least not starve or die of exposure.  First order of business had been to make sure everyone was safe and secure.  Now that they had handled the first order of business and they were settled down a bit, the second order of business was what the fuck had happened.

It was Lilith who told them.  She pointed to Karen. 

Karen had been staying with Adam and Eve, as they had taken pity on her and had given her food and shelter.  She had even shared their bed to stay warm.

But that all went south real quick.  Everyone was furious. Karen couldn’t take the looks.  Not like anyone was kicking her out, but she really was having an issue with no one talking to her and everyone blaming her for their misfortune. Karen was last seen heading out into the desert on her own with a small stash of supplies.

A few months passed, and some of the people decided to look for someplace more hospitable to live.  They formed groups that set out to find greener lands, more like Eden.  There couldn't be only one place on this marble that was a garden?  The marble was big.  They all agreed that if they found someplace perfect, they would return for everyone else.

Lilith and Eve had taken over the remaining group, teaching what they had learned, the skills they could pass on.  They had become the leaders.  Adam was still the storyteller.  But they could not eat stories.  Lilith had assigned him some hunting duties that he just never did.  She spoke to Eve.  The rest of the group was working to keep them all alive, but Adam, not so much. 

Even Eve had tired of him.  She now had human 1.1 to take care of and Adam was absolutely no help.  They conferred with the rest of the group.  No one was happy carrying his weight.  And Adam, for all his claim of being a great writer, had not produced one thing in a long time.

The next morning, Adam was given a spear and some skins and some food and shown the cave door.

Adam wandered for a couple of weeks.  He was hungry all the time as he was not really a good hunter, and he was always tired.  So, imagine his surprise at his good fortune to run into Karen. 

Karen had set herself up really well.  She had a nice cave next to some fresh running water.  She had planted a garden; not much but it sustained herself and her son.  Yes, Karen had a human 1.1 as well.  Adam wandered into her camp and dropped to the ground on his knees.  He begged her for some food.  Karen smiled.  She went and got him some fresh, hot stew from over the fire in the cave.  He thanked her for her kindness and asked if she would mind if he stayed a little bit before he moved on.  She said she didn’t mind.

He never left.  But he did finally write his book.  He called it the book of Genesis.  He did embellish it a little bit.  It was about Adam and Eve.  It was Eve (that bitch) who got them kicked out.  Lilith was written up as his first wife and he left her for being too bossy and not giving into his desires. 

He never mentioned Spot.  But she probably would never know because she never bothered with what he was doing.  She took care of it all; growing the food, hunting, and taking care of her child and Adam.  She never complained.

Then Karen died.  Adam had no idea what to do, so he packed up what provisions he could and took Karen's child and wandered back through the desert.  It took another six months before he came upon the settlement that Lilith and Eve had established.  A lack of directions and his not asking for it seemed to be the reason it took so long.

He introduced his son, Cane, to the ladies and asked that he be given shelter.  Eve agreed and introduced him to her son, Able.  The boys became fast friends.

    Adam had left his scrolls all wrapped up and sealed in some pottery jars he acquired from one of the artisans in the settlement.  Adam had acquired a small skill of making knives from animal bones and he traded this useful tool for many of his needs.  He then placed the scroll jars in a small cave not far from the settlement and sealed the cave.

   This is where Adam's story end.  There would be more fairy tales, but those were to be written by others.

The gods, on the other hand, decided that this would be the last telling of this particular story.  They would do better with the next marble.  They left, and they didn’t tell that one god where they went.  He stayed behind.  Something to do with a war with those angels he created.  Once he realized the other gods  had all left, he wandered off looking for them.  They, however, made sure he wouldn’t find them.

artwork copyright enona via istock

Copyright 2019 Boudica Foster and Tales from the Zodiac Bistro
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